


Playing Pretend

by Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Universe, Clockwork Robot, Depressed Robbie Rotten, Depression, Dolls, Glanni why do you do these things?, M/M, Mention of Suicidal Ideation, Misunderstandings, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Pining, Robbie can't sleep alone, Robbie no that's creepy, Short Chapters, Size Changing Machine, Sportatoy, Supportive Sportacus (LazyTown), Trans Male Character, Trans Sportacus (LazyTown), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-10-16 02:53:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 12,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts/pseuds/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts
Summary: There are other cures for loneliness, but Robbie can't think of any good ones.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There's no escape from Lazytown, is there? This is forever. I'll never be able to stop writing for it.

Robbie yawned as he woke, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly through his nose. He didn’t want to get up yet. His bed was too warm and the arm curled over his stomach was too comfortable. He settled back closer to the body behind him.

After a few minutes he was awake enough to notice the fact that the other person in his bed was too hard for anything organic and only warm from his own body heat. Another minute and he was aware of the clicking of gears in the absence of breath. There was no heartbeat. Robbie removed the arm and got out of bed.

He looked back at the other man. It looked like Sportacus, but was made of plastic and clockwork; A poor substitute for the real thing. 

Robbie circled the bed and wound the key at his creation’s back, scolding himself. Really, he knew what he was doing was creepy but it was the only way he found he could sleep in his bed. Sportacus was annoying sometimes but overall he was a calming presence. Robbie had even fallen asleep in his arms once, which was what had given him the idea.

Once the key was wound he lead the toy back to the machine he used to grow and shrink things, returning the toy to where he kept the other dolls when the false Sportacus could fit in his hand again. He collapsed in his chair afterward, switching on the television. Regrettably, he was unable to focus on any show for more than twenty seconds. He checked the clock, which told him that it was only just seven in the morning. The real Sportacus would probably be awake by now.

He left his chair to make himself a piece of cake, then took the plate up the catwalk to look through the periscope. As he expected, the blue elf was running laps around the sports field with the little pink girl. None of the other children woke up this early. Robbie sighed wistfully and pushed the periscope up.

The villain had long since accepted that he was in love with his hero, but he had done too many horrid things for Sportacus to ever return the feelings. That was fine. Sportacus deserved far better. All Robbie really had to offer was his inventions and sweets, neither of which Sportacus would like. The elf preferred doing things by his own hand and sugar just shut him down.

Robbie turned on the speaker connected to the sports field, deciding to listen in case something interesting happened. He returned to his chair and flipped through a magazine, Villains Weekly.

“Oh. Bad Dog got married.” He mused aloud to no one as he looked at the picture of a Chihuahua and a Great Dane, both in wedding dresses tailored just for dogs. “Good for her.”

He flipped through a few more pages before setting the magazine down and curling up before realizing he had left his cake on the catwalk. He returned to retrieve it, pulling the periscope back down from force of habit. The hero and the girl were sitting now, talking about something that looked serious. Robbie realized the speaker wasn’t working properly and he banged the top of it with the side of his fist.

The speaker crackled to life.

_”--like how my uncle looks at Miss Busybody.”_

_”You’re very observant, Stephanie. It’s just not that easy. He would have to like me back. I don’t think he does.”_

_“You said it’s not good to hold in your feelings. At least try to talk to him?”_

_“I might.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Okay! Just give me time.”_

The girl sighed. _“Okay.”_

Robbie’s nose twitched and he looked away, fingers tapping erratically on the side of the periscope. _Great._ Not only was the hero disinterested in Robbie, he apparently had eyes on someone else. Robbie quickly made a mental list of all the men in town. Most of them were either taken or too old like the Mayor. The only one he could think of that would be a possible fit was Officer Obtuse. What went better together than a superhero and law enforcement? Robbie never even had a chance.

He shoved the periscope up and away, remembering his cake this time as he returned to his chair. His throat was closing up and his eyes were welling but he refused to let a single tear fall. He turned the television back on and shoveled cake into his mouth. At least icing loved him. He did not go into town that day. Instead he busied himself with media, tinkering, and more cake. Later that night as he prepared for bed he ran the Sportacus doll through the size changer. 

“Come on. Let’s go to bed.”

The Sportatoy grinned, took his hand, and lead him to the bedroom. They laid down together. Robbie curled up as small as he could manage, hiding his face against the machine’s chest. He finally allowed himself to cry, plastic fingers soothing him as they carded through his unwashed hair. For now, at least, he could pretend someone cared. After a while he could almost trick himself into believing Sportacus was really with him. He fell asleep soon after.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie spends some time alone in his lair. For a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robbie you need fresh air sometimes.

Robbie didn’t leave his lair for the next few weeks. He let the Sportatoy walk around freely, or as free as it could be while staying underground. It was quiet and usually stayed within sight of the villain, so he saw no need to shrink it again. Robbie kept himself busy. He had to keep his hands doing something at all times or else he felt like he was going insane. Or perhaps even more insane considering he had been spending time with only a clockwork doll for company. 

He hadn’t even bothered with the periscope or speaker since eavesdropping the last time. Why should he? No one above ground cared, he was sure. It was easy to have food mailed and his inventions took care of the rest. Sportatoy was companion enough. If anyone really wanted to see him they would have knocked.

_Knock knock._

Robbie flinched, and frantically ran to shove the fake Sportacus through the size changer and back into the dollhouse before climbing up the chute to answer. He opened the hatch to find the real Sportacus beaming down at him, a hint of concern behind the smile.

“Hi Robbie!”

“What do you want?” Robbie gruffed.

“You haven’t been around and I… We missed you.” Sportacus explained seriously, then brightened. “You look better rested than usual!”

“New pillow.” Robbie lied.

“It must be a good one!” The elf chirped. “The kids and I are going to play soccer. Would you like to join us?”

“I don’t play _sports._ ”

“You played baseball.” Sportacus pointed out, then backtracked. “You don’t have to play with us, you can just sit.”

Robbie considered just shutting the hatch of his lair in the hero’s face. There was really nothing stopping from doing so. He could even lock it this time and shut himself away from the rest of the world so nobody could bother him and he would likewise not bother them. He could even disconnect the speakers and periscope. Out of sight, out of mind. 

Of course, Sportacus fell into the saddest set of puppy dog eyes Robbie had ever seen and every thought of abandoning the outside world vanished from his mind. The elf had ocean eyes and he could be lethal with them as far as the villain was concerned. Even knowing Sportacus was after someone else, Robbie couldn’t deny him his company since it was clearly something the hero wanted. Robbie couldn’t imagine _why_ , after all he had put the hero through.

“ _Fine,_ but if the ball hits me I’m poking a hole in it.” Robbie huffed, climbing out.

“I suppose that’s fair.” Sportacus said with a grin, enveloping the villain in a hug as soon as his feet touched the ground.

Robbie swore he could have melted in that brief moment. Sportacus was warm and smelled strongly of apples, like pie. He _breathed_. The villain had to fight the urge to reciprocate. He didn’t trust himself not to cling. Not even a second passed before Sportacus pulled away.

“Sorry.” The elf apologized. “I got excited.”

“It’s… fine.” Robbie muttered, and followed the hero as he backflipped all the way to the sports field.

Robbie paid no attention to the game. Instead, his mind was running at full speed. The clockwork Sportacus wasn’t good enough. Robbie needed to figure out how to make it breathe. It needed to create its own warmth without being a fire hazard. He couldn’t give it life, but an imitation would do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best and worst ideas come from a lack of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who else is tired.

Robbie had spent the past three days awake. He hadn’t showered and his hair was a curly, disheveled mess. Sportatoy was on the work table, meaning Robbie had nothing to sleep with. Oh well. The sleep deprivation would be worth it if he could get the proper adjustments working. At least coffee and unrest was did wonders for his creativity.

He had bought an electric blanket and torn the warming wires out, threading them through the walls of the chest cavity. The control was then wired through the arm and hidden under a bracer. He triple checked their insulation and added to it. He did _not_ want to be woken up by catching fire. That part was easy enough. The real trick was trying to figure out lungs.

It was easy enough to get an automatic air pump to inflate and deflate a balloon at intervals. The problem was all of the gears in the chest. He eventually had to tear it all out, including the warming system, and make an entirely new chest piece; One that could expand and contract to accommodate the balloon without popping it.

This meant taking a grate from a grill, breaking it in half, curving it into a cylinder, jointing it in the back, and finally attaching the front with thick rubber. All of this made up a rib cage for him to set the false lung in. After that he reworked the gears to all fit lower aside from the shoulder joints. He attached those to lower gears with bike chains, keeping them outside of the ribs and away from the balloon.

After the lung was situated he replaced all of the wires from the blanket and closed up the chest. He switched the heater on and started a stopwatch to monitor time. After exactly twelve minutes and forty-three seconds the balloon popped.

Robbie jumped away, cursing under his breath and opening the chest again. He could feel the problem immediately. The doll had gotten too hot internally. He would have to figure out a cooling system on top of everything else.

“Not a fan, the noise would just ruin it…” He muttered, disconnecting the rubber straps and prying open the ribs to pick out the torn, melted latex.

Given that Robbie was focused solely on the doll and running on caffeine, he missed the knocking. Sportacus rolled out of the chute to find the villain muttering over a replica of him on the work table like a dissected frog. He hadn’t been noticed yet and took a step back.

“Robbie?” He called quietly.

Robbie looked up, startled. “Shit.” 

“Um… What is… What?” The hero asked, gesturing to the doll.

“It’s for a scheme.” Robbie answered, far too quickly. “I was… going to send it to replace you and then you would beat it in a race or something and… I guess you caught me?” He continued weakly, then sighed at the expression of disbelief on the other’s face. 

"You haven't tried to run me out of town for two years..." The hero pointed out.

Of course. Sportacus always saw through his disguises even if he played along, why would this be any different? It wasn't any different.

“It’s the only way I can sleep in my own damn bed.” Robbie admitted flatly.

“That’s…”

“Pathetic. I know.” Robbie finished, wondering if he should toss the doll or himself in the scrap shredder. He was leaning toward both at this point.

“No.” Sportacus said quickly. “I just… Why does it look like me?” He couldn’t help but wonder if it was him specifically that Robbie needed, or if anybody would do.

Robbie couldn’t make himself answer that, spreading a tarp over the replica. “Get out.”

“Robbie?”

“ _Out._ ” The villain repeated.

The hero left, not willing to invoke the other’s wrath. The villain waited for the echo of footsteps to stop, then broke down and cried. He was embarrassed, ashamed, and far too tired to deal with the situation calmly. Sportacus had to hate him now, if he didn’t already. There was no way this could get any worse.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Think before doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glanni continues to barge into my writing without invitation.

Robbie felt numb when he finally managed to stop crying. He didn’t touch the Sportatoy for the next couple of days. By day eight he had only managed maybe two hours total of restless sleep. He didn’t even bother going to bed and just let himself pass out in his chair for a few minutes at a time.

After a brief but very intense panic attack, Robbie finally passed out. It was the most sleep he had had in far too long and yet he felt no better rested when he woke up on the rug in front of his chair. He climbed back up into it, running his fingers through the fur for a moment to ground himself before picking up the phone to call his brother. 

The line picked up after the second ring and Robbie instantly fell into explaining the situation. His words were a frantic, jumbled mess, but Glanni had practically raised the younger and could understand most of the word-vomit just from sheer practice.

 _“Did you fuck it?”_ Glanni asked bluntly.

“ _No!_ Of course not! It doesn’t even have a…” Robbie trailed off for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No.”

_“Then why is he mad?”_

“Because I built _him_. It’s creepy.” Robbie huffed.

 _“Well it’s good you can acknowledge it, Frankenstien. At least you didn’t fuck it.”_ Robbie could practically hear the shrug.

“I’m not _you._ ” Robbie snarked, switching the phone to his other hand. His tone gradually became frantic. “He doesn’t even like me in the first place, he’s just nice to everyone. I just had to ruin that, didn’t I? Now he probably hates me and I can’t blame him. I hate me too.”

 _“Hey. Robin. Sweetie. What do we do when shit hits the fan?”_ Glanni asked, his way of getting the other to calm down.

“Ugh… Blame Mom.” Robbie answered with a groan.

_“Right. It's all that bitch's fault. Do you need me to drive over?”_

“No… Maybe?" Robbie sighed heavily, the fingers of his free hand tapping earnestly against the arm of the chair. "I don’t know.”

 _“Give me two hours. For now, take a shower and _try_ to take a nap.”_ Glanni instructed, and Robbie noticed a jingle of keys in the background.

They each hung up, and Robbie shuffled to the bathroom to do as he had been told. While only eight years older, Glanni had always known what was best for Robbie. Sometimes Robbie had trouble doing things for himself that were necessary and Glanni always knew when his little brother needed to be reminded.

Meanwhile, Sportacus had been in his airship more and outside less. His crystal had kept up a constant, though faded glow. The crystal was why he had barged into Robbie’s lair in the first place. He _had_ knocked, but went unheard and at the time the stone had been frantic. He had been relieved to find Robbie unhurt but…

The _doll_ , laid out on the table and open in a mess of mechanical gore. Sportacus was a playmate, not a play _thing._ Then again Sportacus knew that Robbie had robotic versions of Stephanie and even himself. Maybe he had one of everyone in town and his double was just down for maintenance. He would have accepted that reasoning if only Robbie hadn’t said he needed it to sleep.

Until that confession Sportacus had been under the assumption Robbie merely tolerated him at best. How did the villain even come to the conclusion he needed Sportacus specifically in order to get rest? How does a person even figure that out about themselves? Suddenly his mind supplied a memory of catching Robbie as he fell from a tree, the taller man drifting off almost instantaneously. Right, that’s how Robbie would have figured that out.

Now Sportacus just needed to find out what work Robbie had been doing to the doll’s insides. It could have just been repairs, but Sportacus didn’t want to guess anything now that he knew he was involved. He wanted to know exactly, without any doubts, what was going on and why.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glanni is a questionable person but a good brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #BlameMom

Robbie did not manage to take a nap after his shower. He curled up in his chair and _tried_ but the most he could manage was to stare at the ceiling. He could have sworn the pipes had begun to shift, but rationally he knew metal did not bend that way.

The television was on and quiet, providing background noise without demanding attention. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but it hardly mattered. Daytime television was generally awful. 

He scooched further down in the chair and propped his legs up against the back. He hadn’t bothered to fix his hair or put proper clothed on, instead dressing in a simple shirt and sweatpants. This was how Glanni found his brother when he slid down the chute.

“You took a shower right?” Glanni asked.

“Yeah.” Robbie answered flatly.

“You still look like shit. How long have you been awake?” The elder asked, circling around to the back of the chair and leaning against it.

“I don’t know. Over a week.”

Glanni sighed, rocking the chair slightly. “Don’t you have pills?”

“They dry me out and I never stay asleep.” Robbie explained, curling his legs to his chest.

Glanni sniffed and left the chair, stepping over to the work table and pulling up the tarp. He frowned, reaching into the machine and tugging at one of the bike chains. He then had to quickly dodge when an arm came up. 

“Most people just get a body pillow.” He muttered, looking to the doll’s far too realistic face. “This is really detailed.”

“Of course it is.” Robbie snorted. “I’m the one who made it.” He rolled out of the chair, leaving it to rock from the force. “I shouldn't have. I should just scrap the damn thing.” 

Robbie made his way over to the work table, nudging his older brother out of the way to rip the rest of the tarp off. He took the doll by the ankle and began pulling it from the table. Glanni stopped him with a hand to the shoulder.

“I’m not letting you use tools when you look like a revenant.” Glanni said, pushing his brother into his bedroom. “I’m going to make a pie and _you_ are going the fuck to sleep.”

Robbie had no energy to argue, collapsing face-down on his bed. Glanni watched him from the doorway for a moment to make sure he would stay put, then went to the kitchen. One thing could always be counted on when dealing with Glaepurs; Their kitchens were always stocked like a bakery. A cheap bakery that used box recipes, but good enough.

After ten minutes Glanni had a pie put together and in the oven. He set up a timer on his cellphone and returned to the living area. He watched what had been left on the television for two seconds before realizing it was an awful talk show and switching it off. He spent the next few minutes messing around with the disguise machine before getting bored with that and returning to Robbie’s bedroom.

All was quiet. Glanni could tell his brother wasn’t asleep. He had to wonder if his sibling’s insomnia was his fault. Robbie had always gone straight to Glanni’s bed if ever he had a nightmare, bad day, or even just a mild discomfort. He never had to sleep alone until he was ten and Glanni eighteen, and only then because Glanni had fled their mother’s house as soon as he was legally an adult. 

Of course, if their mother had any sense of nurturing in her, Glanni wouldn’t have had to take up her slack and guess how to be a parent to his brother. Oh well. Nothing for it now aside from blaming their mother and settling on the bed next to Robbie, who relaxed instantly. He would only be able to stay until the timer went off but he hoped that would be enough time for Robbie to fall asleep and stay that way.

Thankfully, Robbie was indeed out by the time Glanni’s pocket buzzed. He vacated the bed slowly, careful not to disturb the other. He even took off his boots, not wanting the click of his heels against the hard floor to cause too much noise. Sure, there was the occasional piece of scrap metal on the floor here or there, but he could watch where he was walking easily enough.

The pie had turned out perfect as he turned off the oven and took it out, setting it down on the stovetop. He left it to cool, letting out a growl as a knock reverberated through the pipes above the lair. He checked to make sure Robbie was still asleep, then climbed up the pipe. He threw the hatch open, practically snarling.

“For fuck’s sake I _just_ got him to sleep. If he wakes up I’ll rip off your balls and mail them to- Oh. It’s _you._ ” Glanni whisper-shouted.

Sportacus’s eyebrows retreated under his hat in surprise as he had not been expecting this new person. A new person that evidently knew of him. He shuffled his feet, unsure if he should say anything. He had come to talk to Robbie but if he was finally sleeping, then perhaps he should come back later. The choice was made for him.

“Get in here, take off your shoes, and shut up.” Glanni gruffed.

“I haven’t said anything.” Sportacus pointed out.

“Keep it that way.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sportacus isn't sure what to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glanni no.

As soon as he entered the lair, Sportacus could smell warm, sugared cherries. His eye was drawn to the mockery of himself on the worktable. Glanni followed his line of sight before rolling his own eyes.

“Go ahead and check it out.” The taller man said quietly. “He’ll probably get rid of it once he wakes up. It won’t matter if you break it. Since it’s you, you can do whatever you want to it. Scrap it yourself, save him the trouble.”

“I don’t want to break it.” Sportacus protested, barely above a whisper. “I just want to know _why._ And who are you?”

Glanni shrugged, answering nothing, and sauntered off to the kitchen. This left Sportacus alone in the room with his double. He knew he should leave it alone, but there was a streak of morbid curiosity in the back of his mind.

Sportacus actually _walked_ to the doll, not willing to make noise after being threatened. The face was like looking in a mirror, but was missing a few details. Up close he could tell his faint freckles were absent from the other’s false skin. Pores were missing too. The mustache had just been stuck on instead of grown out. Still, the likeness was the work of a master.

He left the innards alone, not wanting his hand to be caught in the gears. He instead closed the chestpiece, unnerved by the sight of his own open body even though he knew it was false. The shirt was off, actual cloth instead of just being painted on. He found it and replaced it with quite a bit of effort. Metal, plastic, and rubber was heavy and the fact it was dead weight was no help at all. He was halfway done replacing the shirt when the other man reappeared.

“Don’t worry.” Glanni said, leaning in the doorway to the kitchen. “He didn’t fuck it.”

Glanni had his weight on one leg, his ankles crossed. He had a slice of cherry pie on a plate in one hand, a fork in the other. _Left-handed,_ Sportacus noted absently as if it would give him any clue of who it was in Robbie’s lair. Robbie himself was ambidextrous. Between the similar grey eyes, dark hair, and a few mannerisms, his best guess was there had to be shared genetics.

“I hadn’t thought of that until you mentioned it, but that’s good to hear I suppose.”

Glanni hummed, taking a bite of the pie and then immediately letting it fall from his mouth back onto the plate. He seemed completely unphased by his own unsightly behavior. Sportacus noticed the slice still had steam rising from it, clearly too hot to eat. 

“You should wait to eat that.” Sportacus advised.

Glanni spitefully scooped the fallen bite back into his mouth and spoke around it. “You don’t fucking control me.”

Sportacus held up his hands and took a single step back. He was sure everyone had had a stressful enough few days without him accidentally encouraging the other’s wrath. He then put his hands down to return his attention to the doll, finding a tarp nearby and covering it with that.

“I’m Glanni,” The other suddenly introduced. “Robbie’s brother.”

“Oh.” Sportacus replied, unsure of what else to say. “Why?” He finally decided to ask, since Glanni was sharing information now.

“Because the less he sleeps, the less his brain can talk him out of bad ideas. Lack of sleep means lack of shame. He must have been awake for a month when he started this shit. Lonely too.”

“He wouldn’t be so lonely if he came out more.”

“It’s not that easy for some people.”

“Why... _me?_ ” He had to ask.

Glanni snorted, doing his best to keep his laughter silent. “Because he’s in love with you, dumbass.”

A week ago, Sportacus would have been overjoyed to hear that. Now, he wasn’t sure how to feel. He looked to the form under the tarp on the table and waved his hand toward it.

“I don’t think he even really knows me.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theres non-detailed vomit in this, fair warning.

Of all the things Robbie could have woken up to, he had not expected it to be his brother and Sportacus playing scrabble on the floor of his bedroom, the latter doing pushups as he placed tiles. They didn’t appear to be keeping score. Glanni was the first to notice he had awoken. 

“Good afternoon, Sleeping Beauty! You got almost four hours. Pie’s done and on the stove.” Glanni reported, turning ‘chick’ into ‘chicken’.

“Hi Robbie.” Sportacus greeted, though it lacked the usual cheerful tone. 

He hadn’t even looked up. Robbie felt his heart drop past his stomach right into his foot. He expected Sportacus to be mad but now it was reality and he deserved every bit of anger, hatred, or even fear the elf felt toward him now. He should be the one to leave town. He was fairly certain he wouldn’t feel like putting his head through the cake machine if he was anywhere else, or _anyone_ else.

“I’m sorry.” Robbie croaked after he had his thoughts in order. 

Sportacus just shook his head, saying nothing. Glanni reached over and swatted his shoulder with the back of his hand. The elf halted his exercise and pulled his legs under him to sit.

“It’s fine.” He said.

 _It’s not fine._ Robbie countered in his head, but wasn’t about to protest. His nerves were in his stomach now as it was and he didn’t think he could handle any sort of active conflict. Or maybe he was just hungry? Coffee all by itself probably wasn’t the best substitute for meals after the second day. _Or was it the third day?_ Maybe it was a mix of hunger and nerves and the only reason he hadn’t thrown up was because he had nothing in his stomach to begin with.

He stood from the bed, wobbling a moment as his vision blackened, then exploded with color, and just generally looked like the definition of the word _‘woosh’._ It cleared up a second later and in that short period of time he noticed Sportacus was on his feet, poised to catch him if he had tipped over. Glanni was standing, though he lacked the hero’s speed. 

“I’m fine.” Robbie assured them, though they all knew there was no truth in it.

Robbie fled to the bathroom, ready to retch now that he was upright and his stomach had shifted. Glanni came in after him a few minutes later with a glass of juice. He took a sip from it and handed it back.

“You two are going to have to talk.” Glanni said quietly.

“I know.” Robbie confirmed. “I should explain at least, if he lets me.”

“He’ll let you. You want me here for that or should I fuck off for an hour or two?”

Robbie thought about it. It would be a highly personal conversation and while he trusted his brother completely, he didn’t want anything his brother did to affect Sportacus. There was mother-henning, but Glanni was more similar to a mother bear. That in mind, he also didn’t trust himself to be alone afterward. 

“Stay in town?” He asked.

“Of course.” Glanni nodded. “I’ll have my phone on if you need me.”

Glanni set the juice on the counter, gave his brother a hug, and shut the door behind him as he left. Robbie listened for the hatch to open and close, halfway wanting to call his brother back as soon as he had gone. He didn’t. He had to fix things on his own. He wouldn’t be able to rely on his brother to solve his problems forever. He brought up another round of bile, this time flavored with juice, then drank the rest before brushing his teeth and leaving the bathroom.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very important conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Run-on Sentences Robbie!

Sportacus was waiting for him, doing handstand pushups. Robbie didn’t have the nerve to tell him to knock it off. Instead he just cleared his throat awkwardly to announce his presence and sank into his chair.

Sportacus tipped himself over to stand, concern on his face. “Are you okay? I heard you get sick.”

“No.” Robbie scoffed, deciding he would answer anything asked of him honestly. “I’m not sick, it was nerves. Or maybe I am sick, just not with a virus.”

Sportacus frowned and Robbie noticed the blue eyes flicker toward the work table. Robbie sighed and leaned forward, his head in his hands. He could tell the elf was waiting for him to continue. It probably couldn’t get worse than it already was. He supposed the best thing to do was just be blunt so at least there would be no misunderstandings.

“I’m in love with you and I can’t sleep by myself so I tried to make you but it wasn’t good enough so I tried to improve it because I know you’re interested in somebody else and would never want me.” He blurted, holding back tears and unable to look up.

“Robbie…” Sportacus began, but the villain continued, desperately needing to get all of the mess out of his system.

“It was an awful idea but at least I started sleeping a little. It wasn’t enough, it wasn’t _you_. So I tinkered with it, thinking maybe if I could get it close enough that it would _be_ enough but I know it wouldn’t have been. The closest I’ve gotten to making a person is Rottenella and I think that was just strange luck. She has a personality instead of just following along but she’s still a doll and the Sportatoy should have stayed a doll.”

Sportacus stayed silent for a little while, waiting to see if Robbie had any more to say. A solid minute passed in silence.

“I wasn’t interested in anyone else, Robbie.” Sportacus said quietly. “I saw the periscope while I was talking to Stephanie. I had hoped you would realize I was talking about you and that you would talk to me about it or we would both ignore I had said anything at all.”

“You were talking about me?” Robbie asked, still looking at his feet.

“Yes.” Sportacus confirmed.

“I thought it was about the cop.” Robbie huffed out half of a chuckle, wiping his eye with a finger.

“Officer Obtuse?” 

“Yes.”

“No.” Sportacus shook his head.

“Okay then.” Robbie sighed.

Another silence passed between them before Sportacus broke it.

“I think you should talk to someone.”

“I’m talking to you.”

“I mean... Someone who knows how to help you.” The elf clarified.

Oh. The hero wanted him to see a psychiatrist. He supposed that was fair, given his recent actions. Robbie didn’t think he needed one. He just needed sleep. For Sportacus though, he would give it a shot. If The town hero felt that he wasn’t qualified to help, there had to be a very big problem. Robbie did feel like a walking problem.

“Okay.” Robbie agreed. “How long?”

“I go once a week. You could try it that way for a month and see how you feel then?” Sportacus suggested. "If it doesn't help you can stop."

“You have a therapist?” Robbie asked, caught off guard by the admission.

Why would Mister Perfect need a doctor like that, Robbie wondered. What could possibly be so wrong in Sportacus’s life that he would need to talk to a stranger about it?

“It used to be required to get some things done but now I go just to keep my stress down.” He answered simply.

“What on Earth do you have to be stressed about?” Robbie snarked, regretting it as soon as it left his mouth.

“Robbie…” Sportacus huffed. “I help everyone in town on a daily basis. I have to make sure I’m ready every waking moment, and I need them to see me in a positive light to be a good role model for the kids. I have to make sure they look up to me, that their parents trust me, and I have to be early or on time for things that may come with no warning. You think that isn’t stressful?”

Robbie had nothing to say, still keeping his head down. Sportacus stepped closer, kneeling in front of him and tipping his chin up with a finger so that they could see each other's eyes.

“I don’t think you’re in love with me.” Sportacus said quietly. “You just like what I let you see.”

Robbie meant to protest but by then the elf had already written down a number and set the paper next to the phone. He left without another word.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glanni spends a few hours in town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glanni, eight year olds don't get your jokes.

Glanni wasn’t sure what to make of Lazytown. The similarity to Latibaer was almost creepy and it even had a guardian elf, though the elf was busy now. Let it never be said that Glanni Glaepur ever passed up a chance for mischief. He wouldn’t do anything irreversible, just something small. It was his brother’s town and not his, after all.

After only a moment’s thought, Glanni headed to the post office to mix up all of the mail. After that he took the price tags off of everything in the grocery store. Once he had all of that done he decided he was bored and climbed nto the roof of the bank. He had no plan for what he would do once he was up there, but he felt like it was a good place for him to be.

“Hey Mister? What are you doing up there?” A girl with pigtails asked him when she passed.

“Oh, you know.” Glanni snickered. “I felt like getting high.”

The girl missed the joke entirely and went off on her way, accepting his answer at face value. Nobody else passed for a while, so Glanni ended up taking a short nap in the sun. He woke up sometime later when the sun had made quite a bit of progress in getting across the sky. His pocket was buzzing and he pulled his phone out, holding his hand over the screen to try to block out the sun’s glare. The caller ID read ‘Little Bird’ so he answered.

“So, how’d it go?” He asked.

 _“Not, um… Not as bad as I thought it would.”_ Robbie answered. _”Could you come back?”_

“On my way!.” Glanni chirped and hung up, climbing down.

He wasn’t far from the lair, so getting back only took about seven minutes of walking. When he slid down the chute he found Robbie in his chair, the pie-tin empty on his lap. He had evidently managed to shift from nausea to eating his feelings which was probably better than not eating at all.

“He wants me to talk to a therapist or something.” Robbie reported,letting out a deep sigh.

“You don’t have to.” Glanni protested.

“I already set up an appointment.” Robbie huffed. “It’s better than a restraining order. I know you think that stuff is bullshit but what’s the harm?”

“You’re just going to end up throwing away thousands of dollars to have someone tell you to blame mom when I do it for a free.”

“You throw away thousands of dollars on _shoes._ ” Robbie pointed out, effectively putting an end to any further argument from his brother. “Can we make more pie?”

“I think you’re done.” Glanni said, taking the tin away. “Come on brat, time to get some more sleep.”

Robbie went to his bed easily, his brothers company and a full stomach making sleep easy to find for once. He managed to stay asleep until the next morning, even after his brother had left the bed for the chair.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sportacus has some time to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't wear a binder for more than eight hours. Take it off sooner if it gets uncomfortable. I usually have to take a break from mine after six.

Sportacus had left the number for his own therapist with Robbie, a woman named Nicole. He went ahead and called her once he was back in the Airship to let her know she might have a new client. 

It was noon, so he decided to take a break from his binder and eat lunch. He couldn’t wear it all day with no breaks or his ribs would start to hurt and breathing would get difficult. The kids usually ate lunch at the same time so he usually didn’t have to worry about having to fight with his binder and getting back on the ground quickly. Usually. There was the occasional mishap, but he was fast enough to go without as long as nobody stopped him to talk.

It didn’t take him long to eat, which gave him about a half an hour. He called for yarn and took the needles out of the compartment, not wanting those to go flying around. He then settled himself into the cockpit to knit and watch the birds for a while. It was idle work, letting his mind wander as his hands worked purely from muscle memory as he made squares. 

He still wasn’t sure what to think about Robbie, and the confession had stirred up all sorts of new confusion. If Robbie really needed Sportacus to get sleep he could have just asked. Sportacus loved helping, it wasn’t like it was a very big request. Of course, given the apparent infatuation the elf could see why that may have been awkward. The villain didn’t make a point of asking for help to begin with.

Sportacus tied off one red square and started another in blue. He glanced at the clock, then went back to work. Now that he had more information he supposed there wasn’t much difference between hugging a pillow thinking of a loved one and what Robbie had done, aside from effort and supplies of course. 

The detail in the creation made him feel a bit off. It seemed obsessive and unhealthy. Hopefully a doctor would be able to fix that and then he and Robbie could at least stay friends. At this point it wouldn’t be right to hope for any more than that.

It was a bit sweet that Robbie felt Sportacus’s presence to be comforting. _Creepy,_ but sweet. It was also a bit sad that the villain felt the need to _build_ a person. Was he really that lonely? Sportacus should have been checking on him more often, he decided. They both could have avoided this if he had been paying more attention.

What bothered Sportacus the most about the situation wasn’t the doll itself, but the fact that it was an idealized version of himself. Robbie had made Sportacus the way he thought of him and it had looked too perfect. The thing on the table was what Robbie really wanted, not how Sportacus really was.

He glanced at the clock again and removed himself from the seat, leaving his knitting there as he was halfway through with the square and had every intention of coming back to it. He struggled back into his binder and redressed properly. He would stay in the ship for now, but he wanted to be ready if his crystal flashed. Surely enough, the crystal started beeping as soon as he got his shirt tucked in.

Ziggy was in a tree. _Again._


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie takes Sportacus's advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Therapy can be good for you, don't listen to Glanni about this.

Robbie’s first visit to Nicole was a bit annoying to him. He had to answer questions about his home life and childhood so the woman could make notes about it in her computer. She assured him that once she had all of that information that she would be able to start helping and that the first day was always tedious. She asked him things like where he was born, what type of woman his mother was, if his father was in his life at all, what he usually ate, and before he left she advised him to keep a journal of his thoughts when he found it difficult to sleep.

“So you can read it?” He asked.

“Only if you want me to read it.” She answered. “Anything you share with me is up to you and will be kept purely confidential.”

“Right.” Said Robbie, leaving the woman’s office and setting another appointment for the following week. 

So far he wasn’t sure how he felt about the situation. Nicole seemed like a nice woman but he could have done without the interrogation. Glanni was waiting for him in the waiting room, ankles crossed, fiddling with his phone, and looking very bored. He raised a brow as soon as he saw his little brother.

“How’d it go?” Glanni asked.

“I have no idea.” Robbie shrugged.

Glanni scoffed and stood. “That’s not very helpful then, is it?”

“People wouldn’t make regular appointments if everything was fixed after one session… I said I’d try.”

“That’s how they make money.” Glanni said, his disdain for the practice clear. “They reel you in and get you dependant. They’re all just working long cons.”

“Like you?” 

“Yes, but the difference is that I don’t con _you_ , Little Bird.” Glanni teased, knowing better than to mess with his brother’s hair but flicked his ear instead.

“Don’t call me that. I’m not five.” Robbie groaned, covering his ears with his friend.

Glanni chuckled and both got into his car to go back to the lair. Glanni had to leave the next day but made sure Robbie knew to call him if needed. Robbie promised he would as he hugged his brother goodbye, glad to have spent the week with him even under poor circumstances. Once Glanni was gone Robbie got to work taking out all of the gears and servos from the Sportatoy, shrinking it, and putting it back in the dollhouse. After some further thought, he put the dollhouse in the very back of his storage room, far from his sight.

When nightfall hit he sat down on his bed and opened the journal, writing down the events that lead to him seeking therapy in the first place.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all sickness comes from a virus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops it's gonna be a sickfic for a little bit.

Robbie didn't even bother trying to sleep the first two nights after his brother had left. He had already written down everything that had happened leading up to Sportacus asking him to seek help in the journal. He had even begun writing down all of the reasons he would no longer speak to his mother. The sixth page wound up being just scribbles of various self-deprecative phrases, drawings of half thought out schematics, and a small doodle of Sportacus in the corner whose mustache extended to scratch the rest of him out.

After the third night Robbie had grown tired of the journal, or even moving at all. At some point he had crawled into bed with the intention of trying to sleep alone and there he had stayed. Instead of sleeping, he had merely stared across his room at his laundry basket wondering why he existed, or even _if_ he existed at all. He eventually decided he must exist since he was conscious and sentient. Maybe nothing else existed. It would be easier if that were the case. Or maybe it wouldn’t. If everything was in his head then it was clear his head hated him.

Robbie spent the fourth day crying and only left his bed to eat once he realized he had forgotten to do so for the prior two days. He went right back to bed afterward. He noticed afterward that he was cold and ached more than his usual joint pain.

Getting up and eating had also sparked a sense of nausea which forced him to leave his bed so he could go to the toilet and heave. He was glad he had only eaten a can of soup. Something fully solid would not have come back up so easily without hurting, as he hadn’t had any time to properly digest it. 

“Ew,” He muttered to himself, then passed out on the cold tile of the bathroom floor.

Movement woke him for a short while as he became aware of strong arms tucking under him. He felt himself being lifted, the sway of someone walking, the warm-apple smell. He was too tired to bother opening his eyes but he knew who was carrying him. He said something in his feverish state that caused the Elf to pause, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember a single syllable. Ah, well. If it was important it would circle back into his head eventually.

He fell asleep again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost rested for once.

Robbie was not alone when he woke up. It was too dark to look but he couldn’t ignore the fact that there was somebody pressed against his back, radiating heat like a furnace. His first thought was that maybe Glanni had come back, but his brother was taller and not nearly so solid. His next guess was Sportacus but that couldn’t be right either; Sportacus’s chest wasn’t nearly so soft. Apparently it was, since the elf nuzzled a bit in his sleep and the mustache was hard to miss.

For a moment, Robbie panicked. Why was Sportacus here? Why was he in Robbie’s bed? Wasn’t he still angry about the robot? He didn’t have much time to wonder before his nausea returned and he had to quickly leave his bed for the bathroom. He retched, bringing up nothing more than bile as he hadn’t eaten anything after the soup that had already been purged from his system.

Sportacus appeared in the doorway a minute later, looking very drowsy and _slouching_. He had a glass of water in one hand which he set on the counter before quickly folding his arms over his chest. The hero was uncomfortable, Robbie realized, and it was his fault. He was glad that for now he could blame his tears on the painful dry-heaving. 

“Do you need medicine?” Sportacus asked quietly, his voice rough from having just woken up. “I could make you tea.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Robbie replied hoarsely, waiting a moment to make sure his stomach was done being upset for now. He flushed the toilet and took the water, taking small sips of it. He would have preferred juice or soda. Ginger ale would have been a delight. Water was enough for now though. “You can go. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t think I should.” Sportacus responded, shifting his weight from foot to foot. 

His arms were still folded and he looked like he wasn’t far from caving in on himself. Robbie thought it looked wrong for Sportacus to appear so nervous.

“Why not? It’s clearly making you anxious to be around me so just go back aboveground.”

“It’s not you.” Sportacus protested quickly. “Well the reason I don’t want to leave is for you, but…” He let a harsh breath out of his nose. “I’ll be right back.”

Robbie groaned, pulling himself up with the bathroom counter. He washed his face and combed his hair, but didn’t bother with any cosmetics. He didn’t have the energy or patience for that. 

He left the bathroom and wandered back into his own, finding Sportacus had taken off his shirt and vest and was now in some sort of tight white tank top that only came down to the base of his ribs. Sportacus turned his back quickly and Robbie immediately left the room and shut the door with a squawked apology. 

Several things clicked into place in Robbie's brain; _The softer than expected chest, the slouching with arms folded, the few days out of the month where Sportacus left the ship less and the children were quieter for it. “You just like what I let you see.”_ Sportacus had said after Robbie had confessed to him, and was he wrong?

 _Yes,_ Robbie decided. Sportacus’s apparent biology didn’t change anything. Robbie still felt the same.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sportacus makes Robbie stew and things get serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is breif mention of suicidal ideation here. Sorry for that.

Sportacus couldn’t meet Robbie’s eye when he left the room, though he did stand straighter, no longer trying to hide his chest. He’d had to take it off to sleep, having wrongly assumed he would wake first and have time to replace it before the other noticed. Too late now, it seemed. Robbie was the smartest man Sportacus knew and it wasn’t a hard thing to figure out.

Sportacus said nothing as he passed Robbie on his way to the kitchen. He had hoped to make the villain something to eat, though everything was in a box or can, horribly processed. He wasn't about to tell an adult how to eat but he wasn’t going to feed Robbie garbage either.

“I’ll be back. You should keep resting.” He said as he scrambled up the hatch.

Robbie sank into his chair as the other left, feverish and miserable. He turned on the television for a distraction. The only interesting thing on was a few adult cartoons since it was still very early. The sun had barely risen.

Sportacus was back about half an hour later with several grocery bags, making his way into the kitchen without a word past his usual greeting. There was a strong scent of fish and soon enough the smell of warm food invaded the lair. An hour later Robbie was faced with what looked like some sort of pale stew.

“What is this?” Robbie asked, poking a chunk of meat with the spoon.

“Plokkfiskur.” Sportacus answered. “I hope you don’t mind I left the wine out. Pabbi always made it without any…” He trailed off, glancing at the floor before turning away to leave the room again.

“I’m not going to hurt you, or whatever you think!” Robbie snapped, having had enough of the apparent aversion and set his spoon down harshly. “If you don’t want to be near me that’s fine but if that’s the case you can leave the lair. You don’t have to stay in my house when you’re just going to be lurking a room away the whole time. If it’s about your body I don’t care!”

“It isn’t only that, but I'm glad to hear it.” Sportacus said quietly. “I don’t think I should leave you…” 

“You said that before.” Robbie gruffed. “Why?”

“You don’t remember?”

“ _Evidently not!_ ” The villain said, setting the untouched bowl on the table beside his chair, throwing his hands up. He was getting sick of everything being so damn confusing.

“You said…” Sportacus began, flinching as if the memory physically hurt him. “You said you wanted to die…”

Both fell into a tense silence for a moment, only broken once the shock of the statement had left the villain. Sure, he thought it all the time but it stayed in his head and he certainly would never act on it. Still, now it had been said out loud.

“ _Shit,_ ” Said Robbie.

“Language,” Sportacus reminded.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An important conversation happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more dialogue than anything else and I'm sorry.

Robbie had told himself that he wanted to die at least twice a week for a very long time. It was more of a passing intrusive thought than an active one. He would never act on it. It was just a thing that would pop into his head, stay a few minutes, and then he would be able to dismiss it and resume whatever he had been doing when the thought had started.

For Sportacus it had been a shock to hear.

“I didn’t _mean_ it.” Robbie said quietly after a very tense silence.

“Then why would you _say_ it to me?” Sportacus asked, his voice laced with worry.

“I was sick, tired, full of nyquil, and I guess I said whatever I happened to be thinking.” Robbie gruffed, waving his hand. “I don’t even remember. If I had been in my right mind I wouldn’t have said it to _you_ , or _anyone_ for that matter.” The villain hid his face in his hands. “I’m _still_ sick and tired. Regrettably I’m fully awake now, so why are you even here in the first place and why were you in my bed?”

“My crystal beeped.”

“It never beeped for me before, why would it now?”

“It wasn’t listening to you before…”

“That’s oddly selective.”

“You kept saying you didn’t want my help every time I tried. I thought you didn’t want me around.” Sportacus explained, then hung his head and took off his hat to wring it in his hands. Robbie was mildly surprised to see the pointed ears droop. “I still should have been been listening to you anyway. It’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

Robbie’s nose twitched and he picked at the fur of his chair. “Don’t be. That’s a fair reason. It still doesn’t answer why you were in my bed.”

“You said before you need me to sleep. You’re sick now because you haven’t been sleeping enough, right?”

“I’m sick because I’m stressed.” Robbie sighed. “But that's what the therapy is for, isn’t it? I did go.”

“I’m proud of you for trying it.”

“Of course you are…” Robbie brought the bowl of fish stew to his lap and pushed the spoon around for a moment. “I’m sorry for walking in on you while you were changing. I should have knocked.”

“It was your room. You had no reason to knock. It’s alright.” Said sportacus, picking the hem of his vest. “You really don’t care?”

Robbie shrugged. “Should I care? You were Sportadork before I saw the binder and I’m fairly sure you’re still Sportadork now. You’re underwear hardly matters to me.”

“I’m just a bit surprised I don’t have to explain anything.”

“I live under _ground_ , not under a _rock._ ” Robbie snorted, taking a bite of the stew and making a face, though he would admit to himself that it actually wasn’t all that bad. “You can go if you want. I won’t do anything to myself.”

Sportacus did leave, but not before checking that Robbie had everything he needed. Once the Elf had gone, he went on a search for his journal to jot down what had happened. The plokkfiskur stayed down, and Robbie managed to sleep by himself for almost a solid hour.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie tends to rant when tired.

The next few visits with Nicole went better than the first had. It honestly wasn’t that big of a change but Robbie was starting to feel a little less negative toward himself. He didn’t let her read the journal, which she said was fine as long as he was getting his emotions out in a productive way. He still wasn’t sleeping much better by himself. The crashes happened more often, but they were hardly restful. 

Luckily Sportacus noticed and offered to help. He didn’t seem to be avoiding Robbie anymore, at least. Once or twice the Elf would come to the lair, make some tea, and lay down with Robbie until he fell asleep. He would always be gone by morning, either leaving right after the villain drifted off or just waking up early. 

Sometimes they would have short conversations; Nothing major, just small things. The talks were mostly fueled by the fact Robbie didn’t have much of a filter when he was tired and he also got angry about interesting things.

“Flamingos are assholes.” He muttered once.

“Language,” Sportacus said reflexively, then asked, “Why do you say that?”

“They let their babies fall right out of the nest and don’t help them back in. They just watch as a pelican flaps over and eats it. That’s their baby but they don’t even care…”

“You watched another nature documentary.” The elf observed aloud.

“Yes. I did. And flamingoes are terrible birds.”

“Well… Pelicans _do_ have to eat.” said Sportacus, and Robbie could feel him shrug.

“I understand that but it doesn’t excuse the adult flamingoes from not trying to save their babies. Pelicans can eat all the fish they want anyway.” Robbie grumbled, shifting to curl into a tighter ball than he already was.

Sportacus wisely held back a chuckle. It was interesting to see Robbie just passively rant when there wasn’t some scheme on his mind. The schemes had mostly stopped by this time anyway, at least the ones meant to get the elf to leave town. Whenever Robbie had come out to do something lately, it had either been to try to get the children to be quieter, or he was honestly playing with them.

Unexpectedly, Robbie began to cry. He stayed quiet, he was facing away, and it was dark. None of that mattered. Sportacus could feel the other shaking.

“Is this just about flamingoes?” He asked quietly and was met by silence, so he continued. “You can talk to me, Robbie.”

“My mother didn’t care either.” The villain admitted. “Or she didn’t used to. Now I have patents on almost a third of modern technology and she won’t stop calling me to ‘borrow’ money I know she’s just going to spend on drugs or lose because she makes friends with every stranger she meets and they steal from her.” The shaking became stronger and Robbie covered his face in his hands. “S-so I stopped answering the phone but she just started calling Glanni non-stop and he doesn’t need that and I know you should love your parents but I _fucking hate her._ "

“Lang-” Sportacus began, but stopped himself. Now was not the time. “You shouldn’t have to talk to anyone like that, even if they are family.” 

Robbie hummed his acknowledgement but said nothing. He was fast asleep soon after, his outburst having worn him out.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panic attacks aren't fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my groundings for panic attacks is reciting the season one opening of The Twilight Zone in my head over and over again until I feel better.

A few things were becoming clear to Sportacus the more time he spent helping Robbie to sleep. One of those things was that he was not as obsessive as the clockwork doll had suggested, and Sportacus was glad to see that it was gone. Robbie did have a few compulsions though.

Whenever he got Robbie to go to bed the villain would have to get up to check the hatch of the lair. Now, checking once was not the odd bit. The odd bit was that he would get up, check it, lay down, and be up to check it again less than a minute later. This would happen at least three times and sometimes up to seven.

“It’s locked. You checked it already.” Sportacus would tell him.

“I know I did.” Robbie would answer, but he would go to the hatch anyway. 

Sportacus wondered if Robbie had such trouble sleeping because he worked himself up climbing up and down the chute so many times in a row. It was certainly a good explanation for why the villain seemed so tired even after he did manage to rest.

Robbie would also have panic attacks sometimes. They were usually over things that Sportacus thought of as small issues; Things he was trying to stack kept falling over, a button of some invention had jammed and wouldn’t work. At one point he had dropped and broken plate. These were hardly worth such a fuss to the elf, but he knew that other people thought differently and Robbie could easily have been upset before. The shattering of the plate had simply been a last straw when the villain was already overwhelmed.

Sportacus hadn’t actually been present when the plate was dropped. He arrived after due to his crystal alerting him to both emotional distress and a cut hand.

“-lies b-between the p-pit of man's fears and the sum-summit of his knowledge. Th-this is the d-dimension of-” Robbie was saying through tears when Sportacus found him, sitting on the floor and trying to pick up the broken glass even while his hands shook and one bled.

“Robbie?” Sportacus asked quietly, stepping forward.

Robbie didn’t acknowledge him. “-imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone… There is a f-fifth dimension be-beyond that which is know-known to man. It’s-It is a-”

“ _Robbie?_ ”

“Shut up!” Robbie hissed, covering his ears with his hands and rocking more frantically. “Shit, I can’t.. I _can’t_... It is a d-dimension of im-imagination…”

While Robbie continued to quote to himself quietly, Sportacus took the broken pieces from his hands and carefully picked up the rest from the floor. After a bit of looking around he managed to find the broom in the storage room so he could sweep up the smaller pieces. He noticed the villain was calming down once there was less of a mess, getting through whatever speech he had been quoting with more ease. 

The hero helped Robbie to bed after that. As always, Robbie kept getting up to check the hatch and Sportacus had to wait for him to truly settle down. Once he finally did he said one thing before passing out.

“There are supposed to be twelve…”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sportacus still has periods but his schedule is way off sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay more making characters deal with my shit.

Whenever Sportacus spent the night he would always be gone by the time Robbie woke up. Unless Robbie woke up at some ungodly hour like three in the morning, the elf would be gone with no sign he had ever been there. This was a constant fact, so it was odd when Robbie woke up one day and left his room to see the bathroom door closed with a strip of light escaping from under it.

He shrugged, knowing he would just have to wait his turn. He fixed a bowl of neapolitan ice cream for breakfast and settled in his chair to watch the shows he had set to record through the night. 

Half an hour later, the bathroom was still occupied. Robbie huffed and stomped over to knock.

“Other people have to pee too, you know.”

“...I know.” Came the meek reply, barely audible past the door. “I can’t go.”

“Are you sick?”

“No, I mean I can’t go out of the bathroom.” Sportacus answered, followed by something Robbie couldn’t understand.

“You need to speak up, Sportamumbler.”

“I’m bleeding.”

For a moment Robbie was struck with a sense of fear, then protectiveness as he made the natural assumption that Sportacus was injured. It was probably inevitable. There was a _lot_ of scrap metal lying around and the elf could never just walk normally. It was only a matter of time before he snagged himself on something. Not all of the metal was clean either. Had Sportacus had his tetanus vaccine? Could elves even get tetanus?!

Robbie jiggled the handle but found it locked. “Where are you hurt? There’s no first aid kit in there. Come out.”

“I’m not hurt!” Sportacus amended quickly. “I just… My period’s a month late and I thought they stopped but I woke up and came in here but there was blood and I don’t have anything so I just stayed.” The elf explained rather frantically.

“Oh.” Said Robbie before his brain caught up to what he had been told. _”Oh.”_ He repeated when he registered the situation. “Um… I’ll go to the store! Just wait here.”

“Robbie wait!” Sportacus called, but the villain was already up the chute and couldn’t hear him.

Robbie practically ran to the store, using the bathroom there before walking up and down the aisles as he really wasn’t sure where he was supposed to find what Sportacus needed. He did find it eventually, and was suddenly overwhelmed by the sheer number of brands there were. A quick read of the first box raised more questions than it answered. Why would it be marked ‘slim’ and ‘regular’? Shouldn’t it be one or the other?

He put the box back and took a step away to consider the others. Surely Sportacus would have a preference given the fact there were this many to choose from. He should have asked before leaving.

“My manager noticed you’ve been staring at the tampons for, like, a really long time.” Said a uniformed young woman as she stepped into the aisle. “Can I help you?”

“Oh, no. I’m fine.” Robbie answered automatically without thinking.

The woman left him and he didn’t have the nerve to call her back. Instead he went to get a shopping cart and came back, dropping one of every type of tampon into the cart. It may have been overkill but it wasn’t as if he was hurting for money. He supposed he could just return whichever Sportacus wasn’t going to use.

It was a bit of a struggle to walk back to the lair with so many bags but he managed. He then put all of the bags in front of the bathroom door and knocked.

“Still here.” Sportacus responded.

“I didn’t know what to get so there's just… everything.”

There was a flush, a click of the lock, and a rustle as Sportacus no doubt decided to hide himself behind the shower curtain in the bathtub. Robbie waited a moment, then opened the door just enough to push the bags into the bathroom with his foot. He closed the door and listened to the rustling as the elf looked through the bags, then there was a long silence.

“Robbie I can’t use any of these.”

“What? Why not?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t use tampons. They’re intrusive…” Sportacus explained. “I need pads.”

Robbie sighed and went back to the store.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He really didn't snoop on purpose.

They weren’t sure exactly when it happened but Sportacus ended up spending more time in Robbie’s lair and Robbie had begun to go outside more. Robbie supposed the therapy was helping a little, but the biggest change he knew came from his late talks with Sportacus, not Nicole.

Nicole was nice but he couldn’t be as open with her and she had only slowly but surely been proving his brother right. After a few sessions she had helped Robbie come to the conclusion that all of his problems stemmed from problems with his mother. Robbie already knew this, but let her feel proud of drawing the revelation out of him. He would gladly let her think they had made progress with something.

Robbie didn’t let the therapist read the notebook. Sure, she legally wasn’t allowed to judge him, but there was still far too many personal thoughts in it that he really wasn’t comfortable letting anyone see it. He was beginning to realize why the Pink Girl had been so upset when he had stolen her diary. He even felt bad about it now, moreso than he had before. 

The experience did make him more mindful to keep his own journal theft-proof, shoving it under the mattress of his bed. It wouldn’t fool a parent, but it wasn’t like Robbie was a teenager hiding magazines and he lived alone anyway. The only visitors he ever got were Glanni and Sportacus. Glanni wouldn’t care about anything he wrote, and Sportacus was too much of a golden boy to go snooping. 

At least Sportacus wouldn’t knowingly snoop. Really it wasn’t the elf’s fault. Robbie had forgotten to hide the notebook before getting into the shower to prepare for bed, and the hero had showed up earlier than usual. Elves, as far as Robbie’s experience went, were an odd mix of birds, cats, and particularly hyper dogs. Curiosity was just a big part of how Sportacus was. 

When Robbie stepped out of the bathroom and to his bedroom he jumped as Sportacus was already there sitting criss-cross at the foot of the bed. His hat and binder were already off and folded together in the chair across the room. The book was opened on his lap, one hand fingering the edges of the pages and the other fidgeting with his mustache. Robbie quickly strode over and snatched the journal away. He was only mildly glad at the fact the hero had the decency to look sheepish.

“Sorry,” Sportacus apologized. “I was just… It was _there._ ”

“Yes. It was.” Robbie sighed. “How far did you read?”

“Only a few pages…” He replied, folding his arms over his chest and hunching slightly. “Why were my whiskers attacking my face?”

“They weren’t. I got upset. My hand got shaky and I messed it up so I scratched it out.”

“It was a good drawing. Aside from the scratching, of course.” Sportacus offered, then frowned. "The rest of that page... Do you really think-?"

“Whatever." Robbie cut him off, already knowing what question was coming and having no will to answer it. "Stop slouching, you look off that way. You don’t need to hide your chest, I told you I don’t care.” Robbie said, shoving the notebook back where it belonged.

“I care.” Sportacus said softly, though by his tone, he wasn't talking about his chest.

“Right…” Robbie sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and flopping onto his side of the bed. “I know.” He clapped to turn the lights off.

Sportacus didn’t speak again until Robbie had gotten up and laid back down a few times. “I found a plate so you’ll have twelve again.”

Robbie said nothing, but there was a sense of relief from that new knowledge. The feeling was amplified as a strong arm curled around his middle, pulling him close to the other’s chest. He was asleep within minutes.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugly blankets are great.

Sportacus had knitted many squares since coming to Lazytown. It had started out as just something mindless and repetitive to keep his hands busy, but he had a plan for them now. With so many colors and patterns it really was a bit of a mess to just have the piled up in the room behind his bed.

He took them all out, every single one, and laid them out flat on the floor. He looked it over, thought about it, and tried to make a pattern out of them where no two similar squares were touching each other. He felt the need to adjust it several times before he was satisfied. He knew a real artist could do better, but he had tried his best so it would have to be enough. He took out a skein of purple yarn and began to stitch all of the squares together.

The next night he spent with Robbie, Sportacus brought the knitted quilt with him. Robbie was confused by it, and thought all the bright colors were a bit garish. He had never seen something that clashed so strongly with _itself_ before. It was a little hideous if he were honest, but he wasn’t about to say so out loud. It was both ugly and beautiful at the same time and he wasn’t sure how.

Robbie accepted the gift and took it to his room where the dim light took away some of the blanket’s volume. He spread it out over the bed covers that were already there. The poor lighting did nothing to mask the elf’s grin, however, brighter even than the sun. Afterward came the familiar ritual of repetitively checking the door, which stopped at three this time before the villain burrowed under the blanket.

“You actually knit.” Robbie said quietly once they were both in bed. Mentally, he noted that the blanket held the same apple pie scent that the elf did.

“Yes. I assumed you knew?” Sportacus replied, his fingers carding through the other’s dark hair. “You did give me yarn and needles when my memory was locked.”

“I’ve seen how you hold your hands sometimes and made a guess.” Robbie shrugged. “Really I just wanted you to go in your ship and stay there.”

“You’re very observant.”

“You also occasionally have yarn scrap stuck to your clothes.”

Sportacus hummed.

Robbie wasn’t entirely sure what possessed him to roll over to kiss the elf, but he regretted it instantly as Sportacus retreated as quickly as if he’d been burned.

“Robbie…” Sportacus said softly, but sternly. He sounded disappointed. His hand retracted from the other’s hair. “Where… Where is the doll?”

Robbie flinched, hiding his face in the blanket. Shame and embarrassment flooded him. He felt the mattress shift and could tell Sportacus had left the bed, but not the room.

“In the dollhouse in the back of the storage room.”

“This was supposed to be helping.” Sportacus sighed. 

“It _has_ been helping.” Robbie gruffed, a bit muffled.

“No it hasn’t. You still have the doll and think you’re in love with me, and here I’ve just been leading you on trying to help you!”

“You think I’m still crazy? I _know_ the doll was a mistake. Heck, I always knew that. I haven’t touched it since and had forgotten it until _you_ just brought it up!”

“You just like-”

“The idea of you?” Robbie snapped, shoving the blanket away from his face. “I bought you enough pads to stuff my entire bathroom cabinet. I know you knit just by looking at your hands. I know you’re half deaf in one ear because you can hear distance but never direction. I know you always saw through my disguises no matter how much work I put into them, but played along which was when I think I _started_ loving you. You aren’t perfect. I know that. I'm not stupid.”

Sportacus took his binder from the chair and exited the room. A moment later, Robbie heard the hatch open and shut. The elf had left.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would, please check out my patreon. I'm in the process of writing an original story called Mismagicked.  
> Link: https://patreon.com/catdogwhatever


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